If you’re a parent, you know that finding time to talk with your spouse can be extremely challenging.
Your schedule is full of chores, work, diaper changes, homework, cooking, dishes, laundry…sigh. It never seems to end.
Communication is the key to a successful relationship
“Quality time” is my love language, and a big part of quality time is simply sitting down and having a conversation with my husband. We don’t have to talk about anything major. It doesn’t have to be an earth-shattering revelation. But I do enjoy talking with him.
When baby number three came along, my husband and I started finding it nearly impossible to have a conversation.
If we started to talk, we were always interrupted by a crying baby, an argument between the older two, or someone who needed something.
To be honest, it was SO frustrating. We ended up not talking as much, because…what was the point? We’d just be interrupted!
Most days our conversations consisted of, “Did the baby poop today?” Or, “What do you want for dinner?” Romantic, right?
I missed those heart-to-heart conversations.
Our Accidental Discovery That Changed Everything
One evening, we discovered something by accident that would bring the communication back to our relationship.
Our baby (Sarah) had started crying. She was always fussy in the evenings (typical “witching hour” stuff). We couldn’t find anything to soothe her that night, so we decided to load up the kids in the minivan to go for a drive.
Miraculously, the baby calmed down. The big kids were quiet. And what happened next? My husband and I were able to have a *gasp* conversation!!
We drove around and around that night. For over an hour we drove. Going nowhere. Talking about little things and big things. Nothing and everything.
When we got back home, my husband said, “We should do this more often!”
So we do. About once a week, we pile the kids in the minivan. We turn on a kid’s music CD or occasionally let them watch a DVD. We put the music in the back so it’s not coming through our front speakers, and we talk.
Obviously there are certain topics that are off limits, because little ears may be eavesdropping.
But it works. We talk about our hopes and dreams. Our budget and our careers. And we are not interrupted.
Well, once in a while it doesn’t go as planned. The baby might get fussy and we have to cut our drive short. But most of the time, having that time carved out for conversation works beautifully. And our relationship has definitely benefited from it.
What do you do to keep the communication alive in your relationship? Do you think going for a drive could work for you?