From Angry Mom to Calm Mom (In 0.5 Seconds!)

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Do you struggle with nagging or yelling at your kids? This simple trick was a game-changer for me! Peaceful parenting | positive discipline | gentle parenting | how to stop yelling at your kids | anger management for moms | #parenting #christianparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting
From the time I was a kid myself, I resolved that when I became a parent I would never yell at my kids. For the most part, I’ve kept that promise, but that doesn’t mean I’ve always been perfect.
If you’re reading this post, chances are you might be trying to figure out:
  • How to be a more peaceful parent
  • Peaceful parenting tips
  • How to stop yelling at your kids
  • How to stop being an angry mom
The perfectionist in me has tried to be a perfect mom…but the reality is a different story. I’m definitely a work in progress.

The one thing that changed everything

The other day during my quiet time, I read the story of when Jesus fed the 5,000. (Even if you’re not religious, stay with me!) Jesus and his disciples got in a boat to find some solitude. But when they reached their destination, instead of isolation, they saw a huge crowd of people.
Have you ever wanted to be alone but a crowd of people (aka kiddos) needed you?
Mark 6:34 says, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them…” Jesus didn’t feel annoyed with them. Despite craving alone time, he wasn’t angry. He had COMPASSION on them.
That realization hit me like a ton of bricks. How many times have I been interrupted/felt annoyed by a child who needs something when I needed to get something done? How often do I feel angry when I’m craving “me time” but one of my kids needs me? (Where are my fellow introverts? Ha!)
I began to pray that the Lord would help me to be like him…compassionate when I see my kids.
Related reading: 5 Secrets for Happier, More Compliant Kids
A few days later I was given an opportunity.

Choose compassion. | From Angry Mom to Calm Mom (in 0.5 seconds!)

I was downstairs working while my husband and our three kids were upstairs. All of a sudden I heard my son and my toddler get into a huge argument. He was yelling and screaming at her. I marched up the stairs and I was furious.
I thought, “How dare he treat her that way!”   Everyone else saw the look on my face and quickly left the room. I was ready to let him have it. Then I noticed my son sitting on his bed, knees to his chest and tears streaming down his face.
Almost instantly my heart changed from anger and I was filled with compassion for him. Instead of “letting him have it” like I planned, my heart broke for him. I invited him to climb on my lap.
Holding him close and rubbing his back, I didn’t say anything at all…I just held him. Within a few minutes, words started flowing with his tears. He poured his heart out to me about some things that have been on his mind…some struggles he has had with the adjustment of having a new baby. He talked and wept while I held him. I wiped his tears and validated his concerns. I assured him that the things he felt were completely normal.
Once he finished talking and had calmed down, we talked about how it is okay to feel angry but not okay to yell and scream at his sister. He decided to apologize to her and they hugged and made up. The rest of the day he played happily and he and his sister got along fine.
This was a huge “ah-ha” moment for me. If I had marched upstairs and “let him have it” like I wanted to, I would have totally missed out on hearing his heart.

How often do we rush to discipline and miss out on the deeper issue? How often do we drive a wedge between ourselves and our children instead of building connection?

Not only that, but he would have felt worse. He probably would have felt resentful towards both me and his sister…which would have likely led to further acting out. I’m so thankful God heard my prayer and intervened in my heart that day. 

Do you desire to be a more peaceful parent and want to build a closer bond with your child? Check out my private Facebook group for Christian moms learning and growing together towards more intentional parenting. (You can also follow me on Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram!)

Read next: Jesus, Mommy, and Me: A 30-Day Devotional for Moms and Kids

Jesus Mommy and Me

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  1. Leighann March 1, 2018 at 6:46 pm

    THANK you!!!! Needed this today!

    1. Marianna March 4, 2018 at 7:47 pm

      You’re welcome, Leighann! Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Ellen March 2, 2018 at 3:46 pm

    I love this post. I’m currently a Children’s Leader in Bible Study Fellowship (an international bible study program) and I am so intentional about leading and teaching and loving others’ childrens but often fail to provide the same patience and compassion on my own children. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Marianna March 4, 2018 at 7:48 pm

      Thanks, Ellen for your kind words! <3

  3. Morgan March 4, 2018 at 12:38 pm

    I really needed to read this, thank you.

    1. Marianna March 4, 2018 at 7:48 pm

      You’re welcome, Morgan! Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Lacey March 5, 2018 at 12:14 am

    I had a very similar experience where I was exasperated with my 6yo son and he started yet another tantrum. I came into the room ready to just send him to BED but when I saw him on the floor my heart just broke and the words “Lead with Love” washed over me in that moment. I held and rocked him on my lap until he was calm, and since that day I have used that phrase whenever I’m overwhelmed with his behavior. I feel so much closer to him now, and at peace with my behavior as his mother!

    1. Marianna March 5, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Hi, Lacey! I love your story. “Lead with love” is such a great quote! I’m going to write that down! <3 Thanks for sharing!!

  5. Mayen Ebong March 5, 2018 at 4:25 am

    Thank God Istumbled pon this! and thank you for putting this up here. I battle with this everyday but I will try praticing ot to yell at my kids.

    1. Marianna March 5, 2018 at 12:38 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Mayen. You can do it!

  6. Sara March 5, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    What is your Facebook page called? If I click on your link here it sends me to the log in page for Facebook and I don’t remember it! I’ll need to open my Facebook app to find you…

    1. Marianna March 5, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Hey, Sara! The facebook group is called Jesus, Mommy, and Me. You can also access it by going to Hope to see you there! 🙂

  7. Brittany March 15, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    This is amazing. We had a very rough start to our day this morning, and now I know how I could’ve handled the situation, along with future situations. Thank you so much. Will definitely be joining the group! 🙂

    1. Marianna March 16, 2018 at 2:02 am

      Hey, Brittany! I’m sorry you had a rough morning…I hope tomorrow is a better day! I look forward to meeting you inside the group!

  8. Katy | Be WITH kids March 21, 2018 at 2:51 am

    This is a great point, Marianna, so often we are out of resources and take shortcuts. Compassion is a great one-word anchor to hold on to!

  9. Rose Angelie March 21, 2018 at 6:58 am

    Thank you for this. I badly needed to hear this. The past days I find myself constantly yelling at my 2 older kids to stop fighting (7 & 5 yo). I just realized I failed to connect with them lately as I got my full attention to our new baby.

    1. Marianna March 22, 2018 at 2:27 am

      Thanks for stopping by, Rose! Having a new baby is such a big adjustment for mama and the siblings! Be sure to give yourself plenty of grace as you go through this transition. <3

  10. yohanie March 21, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    excellent article. now i am totally changed by being compassion.
    thank God & thank you very much.

    1. Marianna March 22, 2018 at 2:27 am

      You’re welcome, Yohanie! Thanks for stopping by!

  11. Brooke May 6, 2018 at 5:36 pm

    Very good reminder to be long-suffering to our little ones who need us more than we will ever know.

  12. Stephanie November 18, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    I’m trying to find Facebook and instagram what are the names of the pages? Love you tips and advice.

    1. Marianna November 19, 2018 at 11:24 pm

      Hey, Stephanie! You can find me at and on IG at . Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

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