Looking for some clean, age-appropriate, yet HILARIOUSLY funny Christmas jokes for kids? Then keep scrolling because we’ve got you covered.
Get ready to wow the crew at your Christmas party with an impeccable sense of humor. These awesome puns will make your kids laugh so hard that they might just drop their Christmas presents.
Some enjoy Christmas decorations, some love waiting for midnight on Christmas Eve, and I love seeing my kids’ faces after serving them my famous mom-jokes. And Christmas is no exception!
Without further ado, here are my favorite Christmas jokes for kids, along with some knock-knock jokes that’ll make even the grown-ups LOL.
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100+ Best Christmas Jokes For Kids
1. What are you giving Mom and Dad for Christmas?
A list of everything I want!
2. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll!
3. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Murray.
Murray who?
Murray Christmas, one and all!
4. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hope.
Hope who?
Hope you had a nice Christmas!
5. Why was the little girl so cold on Christmas?
Because it was Decembrrrr.
6. Where does the snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
7. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pizza.
Pizza, who?
Pizza on earth, good will toward men!
8. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
9. Who delivers Christmas presents to cats?
Santa Claws.
10. What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish.
11. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?
Because he went down in history.
12. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells.
13. What do you call people with a fear of Santa Claus?
Claus-trophobic.
14. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
15. Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
Santa Paws.
16. How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?
Fleece Navidad!
17. Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
18. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.
19. What do you give a train conductor for Christmas?
Platform shoes.
20. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A humbug.
21. If a reindeer loses his tail, where can he find a new one?
A retail store.
22. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ho Ho.
Ho Ho who?
Your Santa impression needs some work.
23. What’s as big as Santa Claus but weighs nothing?
His shadow.
24.Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand?
It doesn’t have legs.
25. What do elves learn at school?
The elf-abet.
26. What do elves use to get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop?
The elf-evator.
27. What is the best thing to put in the Christmas pie?
Your teeth.
28. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Dexter.
Dexter, who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
29. What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap.
30. Why did Santa’s helper feel sad?
He had low elf-esteem.
31. Why don’t lobsters celebrate Christmas?
Because they’re shellfish.
32. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad you were good all year?
33. What did the duck say to the reindeer?
Quack.
34. How do sheep say Happy Holidays to each other?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
35. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Whatever you want. He can’t hear you anyway.
36. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good Christmas joke?
37. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.
38. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut open these presents until Christmas.
39. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names…
40. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ima.
Ima who?
Ima dreaming of a white Christmas.
41. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and open your presents!
42. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time to deliver the Christmas gifts.
43. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
44. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cole.
Cole who?
Cole is not what I was expecting for Christmas this year!
45. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Alaska.
Alaska who?
Alaska Santa Claus for a new scooter.
46. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree.
47. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule know when you look out the door.
48. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?
49. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
50. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
I’ll Alex Santa if you’re on his naughty list this year.
51. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas.
52. What falls but never gets hurt?
Snow.
53. What do you get when Santa plays detective?
Santa Clues!
54. How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
He has a black belt.
55. How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Nothing! It was on the house.
56. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite!
57. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
58. What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?
Ice Krispy Treats.
59. Why do mummies like Christmas?
Because of all the wrapping.
60 What’s a good time for Santa to come down the chimney?
Anytime!
61. What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
They both have sandy claws.
62. Why do mummies like the holidays so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.
63. One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”
His wife asked, “How do you know?”
“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
64. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
65. What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
The Finch Who Stole Christmas.
66. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present’s beneath them.
67. What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?
“Baaaa humbug!”
68. What does a Gingerbread man make his bed with?
A cookie sheet.
69. Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
70. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chill out.
71. What has a jolly laugh, brings you presents, and scratches up your furniture?
Santa Claws.
72. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
73. Moe: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year?
Joe: I haven’t decided yet.
Moe: What did you give him last year?
Joe: The measles.
74. What does Jack Frost like best about school?
Snow and tell.
75. What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Snow cones!
76. What do you call Santa Claus if he goes down a lit chimney?
Crisp Cringle.
77. What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
78. Santa: Knock, knock.
Elf: Who’s there?
Santa: Olive.
Elf: Olive, who?
Santa: Olive the other reindeer.
79. What does Santa say at the start of a race?
“Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho!”
80. What does Santa Claus do in his garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe.
81. Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?
82. What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
83. What do fish sing during winter?
Christmas corals.
84. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
85. When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.”
86. Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
Luke: How do you know?
Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.
87. Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?”
88. What is red, white, and blue during the holidays?
A sad candy cane.
89. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Ornamints.
90. What do elves do after school?
Their gnome work!
91. What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
Tinsel-itis!
92.What falls at the North Pole but never gets injured?
Snow.
93. Where does mistletoe go to become famous?
“Holly” wood.
94. Who gives Christmas presents to sharks?
Santa Jaws.
95. What did the reindeer say to the football player?
“Your Blitzen days are over!”
96. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
97. Why did Santa plant three gardens?
So he could HO HO HO.
98. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y.”
99. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?
Your days are numbered…
100. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball.
101. What did the pepper say on its holiday card?
“Season’s greetings.”
102. What should you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
103. What’s the best Christmas present?
A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.
104. What is the best Christmas song to sing to your pet rock?
Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.
105. What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane.
106. How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle.
107. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
108. What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
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The Beauty Of Holiday Jokes
Do you know the best thing about these hilarious Christmas jokes for kids? They are perfectly grown-up friendly as well!
So if you’ve got friends, family members, or co-workers who enjoy a cheesy pun-tastic holiday joke as much as you do, these will definitely do the trick.
Don’t take life too seriously and laugh whenever you get a chance. It truly makes the days more fun and Christmas time more magical.
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