There are many moments that make us a happy mom. The first time is when we deliver a healthy child into this world. The others come from proud personal accomplishments or the accomplishments of our kids.
But, the reality is that sometimes being a mother can become rather stressful, and keeping that happy mom demeanor becomes less and less genuine and turns more into a façade.
It’s somewhat tough to put into words, given how every mamma is different and different things make us happy, but I’m pretty sure we all suffer from the fear of falling too deep into a daily routine that sucks all the fun out of being a mom.
You simply hit a period of burnout where all of the constant chores and the routine catch up to you.
Working an 8-hour job, grabbing the groceries, making food, and still being expected to use the rest of your time to work around the house and be both physically and emotionally present for your friends and your loved ones is not easy.
It takes a lot of energy to keep that routine going day in and day out and it’s a part of the mom life that simply ends up overwhelming new moms.
I used to be like that, thinking I could manage all that and still have time for all of my hobbies. I thought it’s what made me a good mom, a better mom. But, at the end of the day, it really wasn’t.
Nobody was expecting me to do all of that and when I came to the realization and actively did something to change that dynamic, I went from drained working mom to a happy, stay at home mom.
But, what can you do to fix this situation? What makes a happy mom? Well, I’m about to guide you through that process right now.
How To Be A Happy Mom in 11 Easy Steps
1. Take some time to relax
The best way to ever reach happiness is to know when and how to relax.
There are bound to be many frustrating things in your life that’ll get on your nerves and make you one cranky mommy.
But, most of these problems are only as infuriating as we allow them to be. It’s our mind that gives these minor annoyances significance and power.
The key to happy parenting and being a happier mom in general is to practice a bit of self care.
Do some meditation, get back to your old self, and let all of those troubles melt away.
By allowing yourself some time to reset, you’ll start having a lot fewer bad days and you’ll find yourself once again enjoying being a mom.
2. Become a bit more organized
The source of your stress might be coming from the fact that you have a lack of time to devote to yourself or the things you love.
Busy moms are often the ones who deal with the challenges of not being a happy mother.
But, that busyness might be coming from a lack of organization in your life.
If you find yourself zooming all over and never really knowing if you have time for anything, then sit down for five minutes and make a list of everything that’s part of your daily/weekly routine.
When you have it all visualized, just how much you have on your plate will sink in far easier.
This is your to-do list for the day, the tasks that you consider necessary for you to function, and to keep a happy family.
Knowing what these tasks are will, in turn, allow you to sort out your priorities which is another key point of being a happy mom.
3. Weed out the unnecessary tasks
Continuing from the previous step, a happy and organized mom knows how to prioritize and will know just how much time she has.
Anything that’s not part of your usual routine can be considered optional with varying degrees of importance.
Naturally, you want to be there for your kids, to be available if they need help, but requests from friends, relatives, and extended family aren’t on this level of priority.
You can say no to them if you find yourself overwhelmed or unhappy because your health, be it mental or physical, is just as important as anyone else’s.
Find that self-confidence within and try your best to realize that nodding your head and saying yes to everything is not the only answer. You’re free to decline anything you don’t want to do.
Do that and you’ll see just how much of your schedule ends up being freed up.
4. Make the necessary sacrifices
Sometimes, our schedules may just be too packed for us to function, and this time I’m not referring to the optional bits.
I’m referring to your potential 9 to 5 job and the like.
If they’re not working out for your current lifestyle, it might be time to clench your teeth and cut the cord, swap to something that does.
I speak from experience on this one. When I became a mom, I thought I could still manage all of it, to have happy kids while still being a teacher.
But, then I realized that it wasn’t as easy as I thought and more and more of my time was being taken up by everything I had to do to prepare for work and to keep up with my mothering duties.
It got so bad that I eventually reached the point where I had to choose – my kids or my job.
And the choice was obvious, I had to quit my career as a teacher so I could focus on my kids.
Sure, that drastic change led to some hard times as my husband was the only breadwinner in the house for a time, but eventually, I found something that worked.
I became a stay at home mom who writes a blog and interacts with all of you other beautiful and confident mammas on a daily basis which has significantly helped me along my motherhood journey.
It wasn’t an easy thing to do, that’s for sure, but believe me when I say that you’re bound to figure your way out of it.
5. Find a circle of friends that understands your woes
One of the problems with being a mom is that the rest of your family members often don’t understand what you’re going through.
They have their own problems to worry about and they’ve simply never felt some of the burdens that being a parent and a mother can enforce upon you.
This is why it’s important to surround yourself with your peers because being alone with these thoughts and having nowhere to vent about them isn’t good for your mental health.
Fellow moms don’t ever judge other moms when it comes to their problems and are likely to be the first to jump to your aid should you need some help during a particularly busy period.
A mamma circle (or a mom tribe if you will, hah), is also always going to be prepared to give some parenting tips when experienced and new moms alike venture into unfamiliar territory.
But, most important of all is that they’ll listen to you and all of the worries, confusions, and fears that you have about everything.
Having a social circle of moms will truly be one of your biggest sources of stress relief and I suggest you find one if you can. It’ll make your life so much easier to manage!
6. Find ways to make existing chores and obligations easier
There are some obligations that you simply can’t give up though, such as getting groceries, buying baby supplies, going clothes shopping, and the like.
Doing all of that on your own can be a real handful at times, but many of these things can be made easier in modern times.
Sometimes, you may want to go outside for a bit to unwind and relax, but someone needs to take care of the kids while you enjoy yourself and take a break.
Just hire a babysitter to temporarily cover your childcare responsibilities and you should be good to go.
Remember, you don’t have to be around your kids 24/7. Allow them to be in someone else’s company as well, and experience what it’s like without you.
If you keep them around you all the time, they’re likely to become clingy and may even develop separation issues which will not be good for them in the long run.
Another good example of where you can free some time up is with shopping.
Where food or anything similar is concerned, if you don’t have anything prepared at home or simply feel like you won’t have the time to sort out dinner, don’t feel ashamed about ordering takeaways.
That’s what the service is there for after all.
Plus, nowadays even grocery shopping can be done online and delivered to your house, saving you lots of time for a small fee.
As for all your other shopping like clothes and such, online shopping is your best option.
Amazon in particular allows you to meet almost all of your shopping needs at the click of a few buttons.
Make good use of the modern era and make life easier for yourself, nobody else is going to do it for you.
Plus, these are only some of the more obvious shortcuts. There are many others out there, it just takes a bit of research.
7. Ask your family for help
Speaking of shortcuts, another great way of relieving your schedule is by asking those closest to you for help.
After all, if there is a partner around, you have them to help divide the household chores and handle the parenting of your kids alongside you.
Both of you need to be involved in that after all, regardless of schedule.
And, if your kids are old enough, include them in the chores table as well.
Do try to give them some of the easier tasks and separate the remainder between you and your partner.
We’re well past gender roles in this day and age. Men are more willing to help around the house and include themselves in their partner’s lives.
So don’t be shocked when you see your husband eagerly jumping at the chance to iron some clothes, make dinner, or hang clothes up to dry after a wash.
Just note that communication is key. While everyone may be willing to help, nobody will know that you might need it if you don’t tell them that you do.
And, the best way to keep track of who does what is to make a printable chore sheet, make a few copies and place them in the most relevant spaces to make it easy to keep track of. Plus, it’ll make it harder for people to forget.
8. Do things that make you feel alive
Routines can be exhausting and often, you only feel worse going into the next day expecting the same old thing to happen again and again.
Breaking that routine, as mentioned previously, is key and the best way to do that is to treat yourself once in a while by doing the things you want to do.
Every few days or so, reserve some time during the day where you get to do those activities that you enjoy.
Things that you used to do before starting a family that you were free to explore and experience, or even something completely new.
Putting on a little make up to have a fun time with your friends comes to mind.
Either that or going on a date with your partner like before so you can have some time for yourselves while your kids stay with a babysitter or at a friend’s place.
Or even, simply a favorite hobby of yours that you can reserve some time for, anything that helps release those positive, feel-good endorphins.
You’re more likely to experience a happy Monday rather than the usual dreary one that comes at the start of the week.
Just make sure that your family knows that time is reserved specifically for you to relax.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be a kid-free activity either. You can use the weekend to schedule a family trip to the beach or a mountainside or anywhere else you can think of.
Somewhere the whole family can relax and take a load off, away from the hustle and bustle of the city and your daily lives, away from the pressures of the news and social media.
Somewhere you can just live in the moment, breathing in the fresh air and taking in the surroundings.
9. Don’t give priority to the bad parts of your day
One of the biggest assists on the road to being a happy mom is to focus on the right things.
If a bad day happens, don’t give the bad parts of it priority. Instead, focus on what you’re eager to get to in the day, find that goal for which you’re doing these things you may not like, and focus on that.
Focus on what makes you happy, focus on your kids, on that recital your 6 year old is going to have on Friday, that Football game your teenage son is going to play in, or that drawing that your 3 year old daughter made.
Don’t let your good parenting go to waste because of one bad day.
If you keep that as the focus of your attention, it’ll make going through the rest of the day a whole lot easier and will make even bad days a lot more bearable.
10. Do some exercise
While not the most effective of all these steps, it is one that shouldn’t be overlooked.
One of the best ways to get rid of the heaviness of daily life, feel energized, and turn into a happy mom is to do some physical exercise.
Getting the muscles pumping has been known to help get the endorphins in the body flowing, making you feel a lot more satisfied and positive about your day.
Now, it doesn’t have to be some extreme exercise plan nor does it warrant purchasing a gym membership right off the bat, just some simple exercises at home will be good enough!.
Either that or some basic cardio in the form of a light jog every morning will put a good pep in your step at the start of the day.
If that’s not an option, then you can just stick to doing a few rounds of stretches at home in the morning.
It’s especially helpful if you’re working a desk job as it helps keep the blood flowing and helps you concentrate by keeping the body limber.
11. Don’t bottle your frustrations
Finding an outlet for your frustrations is also very important.
Not venting in a healthy manner allows them to build up which will passively keep making the things that happen around you seem more irritating than they really are.
And, keeping them bottled up will eventually cause it to burst out in an unwanted moment.
It’ll end up hurting you and everyone around you when the ticking time bomb explodes.
This outburst could potentially cause irreparable damage to some of the social and family bonds you’ve been working so hard to build.
I’ve found that the best way to keep that in check is to either keep a journal, or better yet to talk about your frustrations with your family or your friends.
Airing them out at the right time and in an appropriate manner, as well as hearing them out loud, makes it easier to cope with them.
Plus, sharing them with someone can lead to a potential resolution!
Being a happy mom when there’s so much responsibility weighing on you can be a really tough task.
The key to becoming a happier mom is a lot of self-care, communication, and a little bit of organization.
Know that you’re not in this alone and that there are many people in your life that are ready to lend you a helping hand to make your life easier.
All you need to do is find the courage within to ask for help. It does take some guts, but I believe that you have plenty!
While being a mom is a privilege and a blessing, it does have its challenges, but they shouldn’t discourage you from the rewards you can reap from powering on through.
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